Day 39: Can You Drink the Cup?

It's been at least 10 years since I've read Henri Nouwen's book, Can You Drink the Cup, but I woke up with it on my mind this morning. The book is based around Matthew 20:20-23:

‘Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached him with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said in reply, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.” He replied, “My cup you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, (this) is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

The cup Jesus refers to is the crucifixion that he knows lies ahead. In his book, Nouwen explores the metaphor of the cup using the images of holding, lifting, and drinking to represent the basic principles of spiritual life.

It's April vacation and my son, Connor, was set to go to the movies last night, but his plans fell through at the last minute. When we asked him why he couldn't go with anyone else, his response was: "Everyone else is in the Caribbean." What I heard was: Why do all my friends get to go away and we are stuck here is crappy and cold Massachusetts. Now, part of the reason we are home is because he play Varsity lacrosse and missing an entire week of games and practices would not go over that well with his coach, never mind his teammates. Also, everyone actually isn't in the Caribbean. Case in point...us. And, in reality, Connor never mentioned being stuck in Massachusetts. That's all me.

It used to be easier for me to get sucked down into the comparison vortex, especially when Connor was in elementary school and the Suburban Mommy Gang ruled the mean streets of Wrentham. They ruled with iron fists and razor-sharp tongues with techniques learned in Junior High and perfected through the fires of childbirth and rearing. Ski vacations, weeks on Cape Cod, First Communion luncheons, birthday parties. The territory was steep and loaded with hidden pitfalls.  My family held their own, but the game never ended and finish line, elusive. Eventually, I got tired and dropped out all together. And thankfully, Connor was the kind of kid that made that decision easy.

But every now and again, I get tempted by someone else's cup. Her cup has pretty flowers, or it's bigger. Another is better insulated, or it's made from PBA-free plastic. And what's she got in her cup she's holding so tightly? Do I know her well enough to ask for a sip or even the recipe? How did she get what she's got and how can I get it, too?!!!

When Jesus asked the two sons of Zebedee if they could drink the cup he would have to drink, they said yes without any hesitation. At first glance, I was amazed they could jump in so quickly without asking any clarifying questions. But then again, how many times have I come home to Fred wanting to go out get the latest whatever that so-and-so had without any real information either. I just plain wanted what she had. Jesus does not say yes or no to the men. He says it's not up to him to give, but rather his Father who has lays the path for each of us.

On this Easter Thursday (Maundy Thursday) I can say that I will stick to the cup I've been given. It's always being filled and emptied, lost and found, broken and repaired, and generally enjoyed on a regular basis. And that's kept me pretty busy so far.